Today marks 100 days until we board that one-way flight to Venice. 100 days. I remember when it was over a year, when we were just talking about it. There seemed to be so much time ahead. Endless time nearly (or so it felt), spreading out before me. And now, 100 days.
I will admit I have more freak-out than calm moments. There is so much to do. Things are so complicated. Everywhere we turn, the fear of God is put into us — CUSTOMS! IMMIGRATION! MOVERS! MONEY! I have often wished for a plug and play journey — just knock me out and wake me when it’s over. But then I realized that the tired old adage ain’t so tired: if it was easy, everyone would do it.
And all I can do is keep fighting the fear. I turn to Adam countless times a day. “We’re gonna make it, right?” And my ever-positive, ever-lovin’ husband responds to me, “Yes, my darling, we will make it. We will live our dream.”
I lie in bed, just like this morning at 3:07am, and think and worry and plan Plan Bs, Cs, Vs…
My number one worry at the moment is getting that lease in our hands. The owners returned yesterday from holiday and I am sure we aren’t at the top of their list of things to do. There are Spritz to be had, vita dolce to be lived. But I can’t rest until I know we are locked in to that apartment. (These are some of the Type-A American stressors I hope to leave behind me. Everything comes in time, the Italians would say. Have a two hour lunch… what’s the hurry?)
But there are times that I do find when I get up in the morning and start to take the first bite of the elephant for the day, things don’t feel as looming and dooming. We try to keep pushing forward, even when there are times we don’t know what we are doing. There is no blueprint. It’s just us two goofs and an idea… oh, … and our entire life-savings.
Part of the pushing forward this week was buying the kennels for the long trip for our furry family. We want them to have plenty of time to get used to the crates and make them as non-threatening as possible, so here are these enormous kennels in our living room with our big dufuses happily in there — I imagine they think they are camping. We are starting them super slow. For now, the kennels are open and they can come and go as they please. Then at some point, we’ll get on a schedule for keeping them locked in there for progressively longer hours. That’s our most precious cargo, right there.
I’ve also found that painting things gives me a lot of stress relief. I’ve never liked our bedroom furniture, but instead of buying something new, I thought I’d try my hand at refurbishing the set.
Going from your basic low-quality knotty pine to (I think) something very beautiful. These nightstands and dressers will transform our bedroom and I feel so accomplished when I finish a piece. It’s a wonderful meditation for me as I go out in the mornings while it’s still cool, work on a piece for a while until the heat comes, and then go inside to tackle learning WordPress.
Learning WordPress is a huge stressor for me because it’s all new. I have never built a website before, and getting the Venice Bites Food Tours website up and running is high priority. And I am the goofball that will be Director of that department. So, I think I have found a nice rhythm for now — painting and packing and other assorted chores in the morning that are more physically taxing than mentally or emotionally, and then the hard stuff (WordPress; scary research on whatever is occupying my mind at the moment; staying out of the kitchen to eat my troubles away) in the afternoon, and then share with Adam our day and get lots of reassurances from him that everything is beautiful — the dressers are beautiful, my new dress is beautiful, I’m beautiful… not a bad way to end the day.
We have also accomplished our final logo!
So, we’ll keep moving along and now that I see these things down in print this morning, I feel better.
Thank you for letting me vent and listening to this nutty insomniac! There will likely be more days/nights like this to come! Don’t give up on us, because at the culmination of this journey, a caffe con grappa and a buttery thick cornetto (croissant) will be just the beginning of our reward!